*  Be on the lookout for behavior that is strange or unusual to your pet, if they act out of character or abnormally, take them to see your vet.

*  Once your pet doctor has checked them out thoroughly, he/she can tell you what is wrong with your pet, and if their sickness and uncharacteristic behavior is a sign of aging or if it is something else.

*  Based on your vet’s recommendations, you may have to alter the dietary requirements of your pet and provide them with more nutritious food.

*  If your pet suffers from arthritis, they  may need medicines to relieve them of the pain.

*  The older your pet becomes, the more sedentary they become so you may have to carry them out to answer the call of nature

*  As they age, your pet may also become obese, leading to other illnesses and disease, so watch their diet carefully and ask your vet how you can provide them with exercise.

*  Incontinence will lead to accidents around the house and you may have to cope with cleaning up after your pet.

*  Your aging pet may also experience a form of dementia and indulge in uncharacteristic behavior like barking at odd hours, shying away from family members, forgetting their way around the house and so on.  Be aware of these changes and talk to your pet care provider to see how you can best handle them.

*  The toughest decision of all is to take a call on whether you need to put consider euthanasia.  While it is advisable to act on the recommendation of your pet care provider, you know your pet best.  You are more likely to know if they are in unbearable pain and must be put to rest or if you can keep them comfortable at home and let them die naturally,  It is a difficult decision but one that must be made for the sake of your beloved pet.

This guest post was contributed by *Tina Marconi.*  Tina writes on the topic
of online veterinary tech schools <http://www.vettech.org/>.  She welcomes
your comments at her email address: tinamarconi85@gmail.com .

Day 983 of my captivity…My captors  continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling  objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while  the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry  nuggets.Although I make my contempt for the  rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat  something in order to keep up my strength.The  only thing that keeps me going is my dream of  escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once  again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a  mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.   I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,  since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable  of.  However, they merely made condescending  comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.   Bastards

There was some sort of assembly of  their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary  confinement for the duration of the event.   However, I could hear the noises and smell the  food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to  the power of ‘allergies.’  I must learn what this  means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I  was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one  of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was  walking.  I must try this again tomorrow — but at  the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the  other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.   The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly  released – and seems to be more than willing to  return.  He is obviously retarded.

The bird  has got to be an informant.  I observe him  communicating with the guards regularly.  I am  certain that he reports my every move.  My captors  have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated  cell, so he is safe.  For  now…………..                                      

unknown source

While pet cemeteries have been available in many communities, burial within a pet cemetery can be a very expensive option.   Many may still choose to bury their pet in the “back forty” but most communities now have very strict health department  zoning restrictions on pet burial.  Today families have become more mobile and may desire the ability to take their family pet’s remains with them if they re-locate.  All are reasons that more and more pet owners are choosing cremation and as many as 70 percent of those owners are choosing to receive their pets ashes after the cremation.  Just 10 years ago only 25 percent chose this option.

Knowing that cremation is your choice isn’t the last step in this decision.  Many pet owners do not realize that there is also a menu of options for the pet cremation.  Pet cremation usually falls within three main categories;  mass cremation, individual cremation and private cremation.

Mass Cremation – As the name implies this is the cremation of many animals at one time, within a single crematory session.  Pet crematories can be very large with a capacity of several hundred to thousands of  pounds of weight.  These animals come from a variety of clinics, animal shelters, etc and when the cremation is completed the ashes are gathered and taken away to be disposed of by the crematory company,  generally in their private landfill.  This option should be the least expensive option for the pet owner and is a sanitary and decent way to dispose of the pet if retaining the ashes is not desired.  It is important for pet owners to know that if they do not specify otherwise this is the option that will be chosen for their pet if they request that their pet care provider “just take care of it”.

Individual Cremation – The individual cremation is a source of some confusion for pet owners and can be very deceiving.  Individual cremation simply means that the ashes that are returned to the pet owner are intended to be only the ashes of their beloved pet.  Generally with an individual pet cremation, the animal is tagged with a metal tag and placed within their own individual metal “tray” in the crematory.  Depending upon the volume of the particular crematory there can be many animals within one session, however the animals are identified and separated.  When the session is complete, the ashes are processed, bagged,  and readied to be shipped back to the Pet Care Provider or individual pet owner depending on the circumstance of its arrival to the crematory.  Many pet owners believe that an individual cremation means that their pet was cremated in a single session by itself  and then given back to them as a guarantee that these ashes are their pets ashes alone.   The only way to make absolutely sure that is the case is with the following option and that is the Private Cremation.

Private Cremation – A private cremation provides the option for the pet to be cremated entirely alone within the cremation chamber ensuring that there are no other ashes mixed within the pets ashes.  Often there will be a tag with identifiying numbers that will be placed on the pet and will go through the crematory process with him and returned with the obvious characteristics of the crematory process on the tag as an extra assurance.  Many times the crematorium facilities will allow for a special blanket or toy to accompany the pet and some crematoriums now have waiting room facilities or facilities that allow for a witnessed private cremation.  Private cremations are becoming more popular as pet funeral homes are beginning to pop up across our landscape.  Pet funeral homes often can arrange for pick up of the pet at the private home or Pet Care Provider as well.  Sixty five percent of private cremations are from Pet Care Provider affiliates so it is important to discuss with your Veterinarian what crematory company he has an affiliation with and/or does he have a pet funeral home that he would recommend if what you require is the absolute assurance that a Private Cremation will take place.  The prices for these services should also be discussed in advance as they can vary greatly.

While it is a difficult subject to contemplate for every pet owner,  it is best to be prepared with as much knowledge as possible before the time comes.  Take the time to discuss your crematory options with your Pet Care Provider or with your local pet funeral home or crematory, make sure that you are clear on what it is they provide, have them describe their processes in detail and make sure that those services meet your expectations. 

As difficult as this can be, it is very important that pet owners are prepared with this knowledge before the agonizing time of the loss of a pet.  The loss of a pet is a very emotional and devastating time making these decisions all the more difficult.

The following is a statement I hear a lot from pet owners, “I am waiting for my pet to tell me it’s time.”  Exactly how do we expect our pets to communicate that they are ready to go?  For many of us, the development of a lack luster attitude would be a clear indication that our pet no longer finds enjoyment in life.  Maybe he or she no longer wishes to eat, or they no longer come to greet you at the door when you arrive home.  They may stop wagging their tail or they may lose interest in their toys.  I have seen situations where a pet will demonstrate these changes in behavior, but it is important for pet parents to realize that this is NOT the normal outcome.  I know many will hesitate to believe me on this, but our pets will often not develop a continuous lack luster attitude toward life that would provide most of us with the confidence to go forward with our decision.  Surprised or perplexed?  I completely understand, but let me explain:

When we form a human animal bond with our pets, their entire perspective on life shifts.  The care, love, and attention we provide our pet causes them to view us as their “provider” or “God”.  The sun rises and sets on us; they are always happy to see us and often want to be with us as much as possible.  I see many pets in the end stages of cancer or suffering serious ailments of old age and, despite their discomfort and handicaps, they wtill “light up” when they see their owner.  They will still wag their tail, they will still be excited when their owner comes home, and they may still use their very last bit of strength to pick up a ball to make their owner happy.  Often I cannot medically explain their newfound  strength and happiness when they are so critically ill.  These moments of happiness and bursts of energy can make us doubt our end of life decisions for our pets.  I have seen this many times and the pets I have helped have provided me with valuable wisdom and insight.

For many pets to lose all interest in life, the disease process they are experiencing will have to strip them of everything they ever were.  This will often only happen at the very bitter end of their fight.  As we face the responsibility of this decision, our goal is to protect them from the discomfort and humiliation of this bitter end.  It is truly a gift to provide a peaceful and graceful exit from this world.  I have learned to find comfort if a pet is still experiencing some joy on their last day.  The pet may be able to enjoy wonderful food, have a fun car ride, or take a swim in the lake.

If you find yourself waiting for your pet to “tell you it is time”, then take a moment to reflect on the changes in your pet that you are waiting to witness.  Facing this decision is one of life’s most difficult choices, but your pet will appreciate you strength, empathy and compassion.     Dr. Julie Reck

For more assistance on end of life decision making for pets or to read more information on Dr. Reck’s helpful and informative book, “Facing Farewell” please go to http://www.facingfarewell.com

1.  It was just a dog (fill in here: cat, horse, bird, rabbit, gerbil, etc) -  There are millions of households in America who have chosen to own a pet, often as a very important part of their family.  The love that a pet owner shares with this pet is indeed a unique and special part of your loved one’s life and should never be minimized as “just a…” anything. 

2.  If losing a pet is doing this to you, I would hate to see what you would do if you lost something really important, like a child -  This cannot be a helpful thing to say under any circumstance.  While this attempt at “tough love” may seem like it will shake the loved one out of their misery, don’t say it.   As someone once said, “never be a party to someone’s deepest pain; you may never be forgiven for it”.

3.  At least you won’t have the kitty litter (carpet spots, horse stall, cage) to deal with anymore -  Many times with the loss of a pet, those are just the routines that a pet owner misses the very most.  The daily reminder that those chores are no longer necessary while seemingly freeing to someone from the outside can be a very painful part of the loss of a pet.

4.  They are in a better place -  While a very nice thought, in the beginning throes of a loss, it can also be a very discomforting thought.  To a pet owner the “best place” for their pet is in their home or in their arms.  A responsible pet owner feels responsible for every aspect of their pet’s wellbeing and the bereaved pet owner may feel that they are letting their pet down by not “being there” any longer for them.

5.  You can get another dog (fill in here: cat, horse, bird, rabbit, gerbil, etc) -  The bereaved pet owner know this, it doesn’t have to be stated right away.  Often a pet owner will need time to process their loss before they can contemplate bringing another pet into their lives.  Many bereaved pet owners feel that they would be “unfaithful” to their beloved pet in finding another so quickly.  Some actually do need to fill the space immediately with another pet.  This suggestion can remain unspoken in the beginning of the grieving period. 

6.  I thought you were prepared for this – Even though the bereaved pet owner may have been dealing with an aging or ill pet for a long period of time, the actual loss is something that really cannot be fully anticipated.  Each pet loss is unique, even for the experienced pet owner who has traveled down the path of pet loss before.  While often prepared for the process , the finality of the event and the acceptance of facing the days ahead without their pet’s presence is something that pet owners need to deal with in their own way.

7.  Enough time has passed, you should be getting over this by now -  Time actually is the only thing that will get the bereaved pet owner in a “better place” with their loss but sometimes it can take a very long time.  Every pet owner processes their loss at a different pace and the best thing that a loved one can do is wait and be gentle and patient.  Perhaps some lovingly suggested pet loss support groups, online pet loss sites or helpful pet loss books would be a better approach.

While it can be very hard to know for sure what to say when a loved one in your life is facing the loss of a beloved pet here are two simple suggestions which are guaranteed to be on the list of “7 Things To Say When Someone Has Lost A Pet”:  I love you and I am so sorry.  Say them softly and say them often.

A man and his dog were walking along a road.  The man was enjoying the scenery when suddenly it occurred to him that he was dead.  He remembered dying and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for some time also.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.  It looked like fine marble.  At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.  When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked as though it were paved with pure gold.  He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, “Excuse me, where are we?”  “This is heaven, sir” the man replied.  “Would you happen to have some water?” the traveler asked.  “Of course, sir, come right in;  I’ll have some iced water brought right up.”  The man gestured and the gate began to open.  “Can my friend come in too?” asked the traveler, gesturing toward his dog.  “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.”  The traveler thought a moment, and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. 

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as though it had never been closed.  There was no fence.  As the traveler approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.  “Excuse me!” the traveler called to the man, “Do you have any water?”  “Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there.  Come on in.”  “How about my friend here?” the traveler gestured to the dog.   ”There should be a bowl by the pump” replied the man.

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.  The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself then offered some to the dog.  When they had satisfied their thirst, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.  “What do you call this place?”  asked the traveler.  “This is heaven,” the man answered.  “Well, that’s confusing,” said the traveler, “the man down the road said that was heaven too.”  “Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?” “No, that’s hell disguised as heaven.”  “Doesn’t it make you angry that they are using your name like that?” asked the traveler.  “No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their friends behind.” ~   anon.

The grief from losing a pet is so deep, so real and so heartbreaking.  I hear the above statements weekly from people who are seeking an answer or some comfort as they deal with the profound loss they are experiencing.  I can really only listen and try to explain from my perspective why this grief over the loss of a pet is so overwhelming.

I think the love we share with our pets is as close to a pure love as we human beings can experience.  Our pets accept us.  Period.  They don’t care what we look like, how much money we have or don’t have, whether we have a big house or small or any house at all.  They accept without question our angry days, quiet days, busy days, happy days and sad days.  They don’t share such human concepts as aging,  days lost,  time wasted, mistakes made and judge us for them.  To them, life really and truly “is what it is”.

I advise people to allow this grief, don’t question it and for heaven’s sake, don’t feel guilty about  it.  It doesn’t take anything away from anyone or anything else that you have loved something so profoundly.   Perhaps you already can see or I know that in time that you will see that it was a blessing  to be loved by any living thing this completely without being asked for much in return.  Perhaps this is why their lives are briefer that ours;  perhaps they are here to teach us an earthly example of pure love.

We aren’t the only ones experiencing these feelings.  If we’re feeling it, you know our pets are.  For those families with children still at home the changes can be profound.  If we can get down on their level for a few observations;  for days now, there has been a frenzy of last minute trips which may have involved pet-sitters or kenneling as families scrambled to get in those last minute vacation days or promised fun times. New boxes and bags have been coming home with interesting smelling items as families have been stocking up on school suppies, clothing, gear and packed lunch treats.  There have been more conversations around the family gathering places and perhaps a more organized or disorganized (depending upon the family) evening mealtime hour with school sports and club schedules beginning to appear on family schedules.  Out come the dreaded alarm clocks that, perhaps, silent for weeks now, have been ringing at “o-bright thirty” once again. Now there is a new breakfast time for everyone including the pets which means new potty time, walk time,  etc.  Lots of early morning conversation, some of it quite animated as everyone rushes around to meet the bus schedule, head off with friends or pile into the car for the morning commute.  Then…..silence.

Again, the silence  as our pets wait patiently for their families to arrive back home again to give them a distracted pat on the head as they regroup and organize their agenda.

Pets may begin exhibiting signs of transition anxiety just as we humans do when moving from one activity, change of season or life change to another.  Perhaps they will revert to inappropriate potty places and times, tummy upset, barking or destructive behaviors  and overly needy behavior as they try to understand and internalize all of the changes to their routines.  Many pets will also be experiencing separation anxiety once again as their owners head back to school or their fall schedules.

We pet owners need to keep this in mind even  if we don’t have children in our homes.  This particular change of season, summer to fall,  seems to be filled with anticipation and anxiety and our pets are feeling it.  Spend a little extra time with your pet,  maybe take him along on a work,  school or extra-curricular outing and try to understand that pets thrive on routine, they will adjust to this new one but it may take some time, patience and understanding.

LEASH –

DOG BED - Any soft clean surface, such as a white bedspread in the guestroom, or the recently re-upholstered sofa in the livingroom.

DROOL – What you do when humans have food but you don’t.  To do this properly, you must sit as close as you can and look really sad, while letting the drool fall to the floor – or, better still, on their laps.

DEAFNESS – This is an affliction which affects dogs at times when their human wants them in, but they want to stay out.  Symptoms include staring blankly at the human and then running in the opposite direction.

THUNDER – This is a signal that the world is coming to an end.  Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET - This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers.  If you get bored, tip the basket over and artfully arrange the contents all around the house until your human comes home to admire your efforts.

SOFAS - The dog equivalent of human napkins.  After eating, it is entirely appropriate to run up to the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean on it.

BATH – An activity during which humans soak the walls, floors and themselves as thoroughly as possible.  You can assist by shaking vigorously and frequently.

NUDGE – The perfect way to get your owners attention when they are busy drinking a cup of tea instead of paying attention to you.

LOVE – A feeling of intense affection given freely and uncondionally.  If you’re lucky, your human will love you in return.

Bush, Karen.  Everything Dogs Expect You To Know. Intercourse, PA: Good Books, 2008.

 

Benny did recover from his illnesses albeit with much fewer teeth and now missing a couple parts that made him such a great stud dog.  He was officially retired from his stud service and adopted into the full service of being my shadow and constant companion.  Benny Man was maniacal about me, he followed me everywhere and sometimes I would catch him just staring into my face with this look of complete adoration (he did have cataracts but I prefer to think of it as adoration in those sweet brown eyes).  I never felt I could live up to what he thought of me but most of the time I tried.  Benny loved to go “bye bye car”.  All I had to do was say “Benny, bye bye car” and he would leap into my arms.    I was still raising children at the time and my days were full of errands  as I drove here and there for suburban necessitites.  Benny would snuggle up into  my back seat and happily accompany me everywhere.  It was so automatic that one time I shocked my doctor’s office staff  by walking in with Benny under my arm instead of my purse.  Benny remained fairly healthy and happy for 7 years.

In our 7th year with Benny, his health began to fail rather quickly.  He lost most of the rest of his teeth and he became completely blind.  He spent nearly the entirety of his days sleeping…..in my car.  Benny had become very insecure after he lost his vision and the only place he felt he could be safe was in my car.  When I would pull into my garage after errands there he stayed, making it very clear that he was perfectly happy where he was.  It was during this time of that last year that I told Benny that he “must let me know when it was time to go”.  I also promised him that he would always, always be with me and that I would forever keep him safely in my car.  One day, as I was taking Benny into the house to have some dinner and go out for his potty, something we did each day,  Benny took a wrong turn and tumbled straight down our concrete basement steps landing at the bottom with a sad little whimper.  Benny let me know that it was indeed time to go as I knew that he would.

Benny is still with me in my car, his ashes are safely tucked away into a Soft-Hearted Pillow Pet Urn with the embroidered message, “Benny Man, As I Promised….”.  Sometimes I forget that he is there but always when I come out to the garage, open my door and look into the back seat, there he is, in his favorite spot,  safe and sound just like he loved to be.  Strangers believe I have a beautiful pillow in my back seat but friends and loved ones know they have a soft place to comfort their sore backs or rest their weary heads and they know that “Benny Man” doesn’t mind one bit..