Tag Archives: pet blog

THIS IS HEAVEN

A man and his dog were walking along a road.  The man was enjoying the scenery when suddenly it occurred to him that he was dead.  He remembered dying and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for some time also.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.  It looked like fine marble.  At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.  When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked as though it were paved with pure gold.  He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

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DOGGY DEFINITIONS by anon. the dog

LEASH – A snap which, when attached to your collar, allows you to lead your human wherever you want him or her to go.

DOG BED – Any soft clean surface, such as a white bedspread in the guestroom, or the recently re-upholstered sofa in the livingroom.

DROOL – What you do when humans have food but you don’t.  To do this properly, you must sit as close as you can and look really sad, while letting the drool fall to the floor – or, better still, on their laps.

DEAFNESS – This is an affliction which affects dogs at times when their human wants them in, but they want to stay out.  Symptoms include staring blankly at the human and then running in the opposite direction.

THUNDER – This is a signal that the world is coming to an end.  Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET – This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers.  If you get bored, tip the basket over and artfully arrange the contents all around the house until your human comes home to admire your efforts.

SOFAS – The dog equivalent of human napkins.  After eating, it is entirely appropriate to run up to the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean on it.

BATH – An activity during which humans soak the walls, floors and themselves as thoroughly as possible.  You can assist by shaking vigorously and frequently.

NUDGE – The perfect way to get your owners attention when they are busy drinking a cup of tea instead of paying attention to you.

LOVE – A feeling of intense affection given freely and uncondionally.  If you’re lucky, your human will love you in return.

Bush, Karen.  Everything Dogs Expect You To Know. Intercourse, PA: Good Books, 2008.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF DOG OWNERSHIP

I recently found this post on the website  http://www.flwheatenclub.org/rescue  and feel it is important enough to share here:

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF DOG OWNERSHIP

1.  My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be painful.

2.  Give me time to understand what you want from me. Do not break my spirit with your temper, though I will always forgive you. Your patience will teach me more effectively.

3.  Please have me spayed or neutered.

4.  Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for your kindness than mine. Don’t be angry with me for long, and don’t lock me up as punishment. After all, you have your job, your friends, your entertainment. I have only you.

5.  Speak to me often. Even if I don’t understand your words, I understand your voice when it’s speaking to me. Your voice is the sweetest sound I ever hear, as you must know by my enthusiasm whenever I hear your footsteps.

6.  Take me in when it’s cold and wet. I’m a domestic animal and am no longer accustomed to the bitter elements. I ask for little more than your gentle hands petting me. Keep my bowl filled with water. Feed me good food so that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding. By your side, I stand ready, able and willing to share my life with you, for that is what I live for. I’ll never forget how well you’ve treated me.

7.  Don’t hit me. Remember I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.

8.  Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not getting the right food, I’ve been out in the sun too long, or my heart may be getting weak.

9.  Take care of me when I get old. For you will grow old, too.

10.  When I am old, or when I no longer enjoy good health, please do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having fun. Just see to it that my trusting life is taken gently. And be with me on that difficult journey when it’s time to say goodbye. Everything is easier for me when you are there. I will leave this earth knowing with my last breath that my fate was always safest in your hands.